Udderly Urbane

Some people dream of being rich. Or traveling around the world. Or meeting someone famous.

I dream of someday owning a cow. Or two. Don't laugh.

I said stop laughing!

It may be a strange little dream, but it is true. I fantasize about someday having two dairy cows, a Guernsey and a Holstein. The Guernsey will be named Ophelia, and the Holstein will be called Desdemona. [Once upon a time--before kids, that is--I read a lot of Shakespeare.] Can you see them in the distance, grazing on my organic someday pasture, just beyond my future crimson barn, lowing sweetly? I can.

Until I someday make my dream a reality, this will have to do.

This is the dairy cow at the La Habra Children's Museum. I went there with my best friends and my children this summer; it was worth the drive and the price of tickets, if for no other reason than... my children got to milk a cow.

How now, brown cow? Wither wander you?

Okay. It wasn't a real cow. And it wasn't wandering anywhere. But it sure was cute. I almost got down on that stool and yanked on the udders myself!

Mason practices to prepare for Mommy's future cow(s).

Is this pathetic that my child is "milking" a fleece cow staple-gunned to a plywood wall? Does anybody out there have a real live cow for this boy (or his silly mom) to milk? This picture is udderly urbane!

Nevermind about "Get[ting] thee to a nunnery," Hamlet. I need to get me to a dairy farm!